A Parent's Message

When I was asked to write a brief story of my daughter’s speech delay experience, I hesitated. Her improvement is slow, and it plateaus for long periods of time. Nevertheless, perhaps there are things which can be shared. Christina is now 5-½ years old. We waited for her first words until she was nearly two, when she began with the usual ‘mama’ and ‘dada.’ She began to use some couplets only recently, and inconsistently at that. Even while developing the thousands of words she’s now using, and even though the majority of those words are spoken one at a time, speech is not her only tool. Her eyes, her gestures, her countenance, enchant us in their desire to communicate daily.

When Christina was born, I was a new mom with a new, precious daughter. Being a daughter myself who enjoyed a precious relationship with my own mom, I was eager to get to know Christina. I was eager to begin to teach her "all about life." At 37, she was my fist child, and I was ready to embrace the role. Knowing it would be a few years before any real "dialogue" began, I set about changing newborn diapers and watched the miraculous changes in this little person taking place … s-l-o-w-l-y.

The time between then and today has been filled with doctors’ visits, diagnostics, therapists, early intervention and the like. Perhaps by the sheer fact you’re reading this, you are fully aware of this process. I need not explain the in-between years or the searching for answers, quick fixes, or miracles … though I continue to believe each is possible.

When I say I want to talk with my little girl in a meaningful way, I say that I simply want to begin empowering her to learn, to interact with the world around her in safety and full expression. I long to hear her deep thoughts and feelings, and to understand her fears. Gratefully, she has excellent receptive understanding. Gratefully, her speech is improving steadily if slowly, without pause or regression.

A few three-word utterances are beginning to emerge. Her favorite expression? "Don’t want to." Followed closely by "I did it!" We find these to be great reminder of how normal her little world really is. Christina’s three-word sentences come especially easy to her when initiated by great want. For a time, we thought perhaps we were meeting her needs too readily, thereby taking away any motivation to speak. That line of thinking lasted only a moment, knowing full well this child would not let a little pampering and love replace her motivation. Similarly, her gross motor delays were not the result of insufficient challenge. Instead, we are dependent on her clock. We marvel at who she is and how she has been wired. When all is said and done, it is among the immeasurable things we love about our daughter. Recognizing that if we changed one thing about her, we would change everything, we would not take that risk! She is completely special and joyously loved. It turns out that she is my teacher, but we still long for her to join the conversation. She has already joined our hearts, becoming the very best part.